情为~何深

I agree, someone who can't even manage his own relationship has no right to answer this question. But what is it anyway? Is love expensive? Does being together happily consider as love? Does the wierd tingling feeling inside you when you saw him/her counts as love? Actually there is no absolute answer. Love is subjective and differs among individual.

Why do I bother to create this Wall Of Text? Everything started with the dream I had last night. It's about my ex.. Well if anyone really has the patient to read this and really wants to know, I might share it =x Bud guess the chances are slim haha...

        Although we broke up for almost a month, my heart still clings tight with her. Every night I think of her before going to bed. Every afternoon spam check her facebook and keep having urge to call or find her in person. Is this a temporarily side-effect of breaking up or it means more?

        No matter what the case is, it is too late to patch back because i did something really stupid and pissed her. To top it off, I do not think that she is the kind of girl who should be around me. Ironically, I still care about her and miss her a lot.  

Let's put this aside and back to the point. About love, this thing has many sides, can be brotherly love, love for family, love for yourself and others. Maybe this is a part of being a human and set us apart from all other things. Human is a fragile being, can be hurt physically, mentally and emotionally easily. Being imperfect is where we human are more superior than other beings in this world..(is it?) 

Can one live without love? The answer is obviously no! In fact, no one can live alone. Although I had lost her trust or "love", I still have my family and better yet, I have my BROTHERS! *sigh* 4% of my life and tons of money had lost. I sacrificed a lot for her. Not hoping for any repay but for her well being and happiness. 

        So here comes another controversy, does involving in a relationship need love to maintain or just being together happily is enough? So, the problem comes back, what is love? gosh... keep turning rounds... Well, from her, love can be related to how you feel about a person. I got a message from her saying she has no more feel to me. Is this a naive saying or an excuse to be excluded in a relationship? The answer to this question still lies with her. I did try to persue the answer, but made it worse and I got hurt BADLY. 

        She is very cute, in fact most of the girls are. Below is a short comic on what happen that day during breakup:

Thx Celia for sharing this with me =(

        Well, I did think of texting back, but somehow I did not. She suggested to separate for a while cause she is too tired from our relationship. From here, even a mentally disabled person could figure out that she is up to something. Being together for three long years, suddenly suggesting that for no reason... I suspect a lot to the extend that she is trying to hit on a guy in her campus.Maybe this is a little misunderstanding between us or I was too ignorant.

        At least, I know why my parents disprove me from having a relationship with her. They are protecting me all along. From this valueble experience I had came out with a stupid conclusion:

爱一个人请别太认真，

感情付出不是真心就会有结果，

付出越多就伤得越痛。

两个人在一起别愿天长地久，

人的心总一直在变，

活下来快乐就算吧~

        Screw this, I promised myself not to look back anymore. This is not the first time i broke up in a relationship nor having my heart shattered to pieces. I got betrayed by my own good friends before and those incidents do not bring such a big impact as this one. However, my case is very minute comparing with others, since divorce is getting popular..... So, should I find another replacement? Guess not... not until I found my own true meaning of 'love'. 

        No matter what the case is, she has left a huge void in my heart...